depressed

Was being easily in depression these few days....feel that everything's just not right, but just doean't know how to deal with it....read irene's blog and had the same feeling as hers. I found no one to turn to when I'm in depression, no one to talk to but only to my own little voice. Reading her blog about boycott thing during primary school (we are classmates) really remind me of the bad memories I have during that time. Although now, there's nothing between us friends, but the memories of that time really sadden me. Until now, I can't made myself mix up with people so easily. I prefer to have lunch alone, rather than with my colleagues, cause I can't seem to get myself into their conversations. It's not that I doesn't want to, however there's just no common point for me to put myself in. When come to think of it, it's so funny. Some of the time, I can just easily get acquaintance with some strangers, but some of the time, there's just no click at all. It's so hard to get someone to listen to our heart as we grew older.....

the world is soooo small

read from an ex-colleague archive blog and found out that she's actually a fren of my 3 month old fren - a happy going guy who had committed suicide. This happen 4 years ago. Knew him when I first joined the master part time class. and it's merely 3 months. All of us was shock and super shock on why..... This is like asking why all the time but no one will ever know the answer eventually. Love this sayings of Forest Gump "Life's like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what you gets" Chocolates can be bitter and can be sweet. But you can only know once you experience it with your taste bud. That's the reason we shouldn't afraid of experience them and I'm sure one day you will get the "sweets" of life. If we let ourselve to take a step further, at least there's a chance even it's a minimal one, but If we forbid ourselves at the first place, you gain nothing. Life's precious, live it up!!!

Dilemma ...as usual!!

I know i had been missing for the whole month. If you think I'm busy with work, I'm not. Not working for the past whole month and not even a single penny dropping into the pocket. Have been so frustated. If it's not becoz of it's a temporary jobs I wouldn't have accept it. After all this years, I still can't convince myself to do commercials as my living. I don't like the way the Agency's control all, telling you what to do by the fact that they don't know what should be done. Still prefer to be doing TV programmes or documentary where I can learn the cultures and lifes of the people around me. I find myself always in a thirst for various kind of knowledge. Don't know whether this is good or not for me as some will say I'm not focus. Don't know why, it's just I'll be curious over anything that I doesn't know and hope that I can know it in deep. But sometimes when I sit down and think, should I continue to be like that or should I just pick something up and focus in it? Now I'm in dilemma, should I do Commercials for the sake of the money or should I go back to TV for the sake of satisfaction?